New Year, New Goals: Navigating Life as a Military Spouse

[00:00:00] Alison: It is that time of year again, when a lot of us get retrospective and start thinking about how did you do this year? How did the year go? Do you have goals that you might want to accomplish in 2024? How are you feeling about 2024? Do you have any big life events on the horizon? Maybe a PCS or deployment?

[00:00:25] Alison: And, , the new year, it's the Really the perfect time to take stock of, how are you feeling? Identify any changes that you might want to make and then formulating a plan to make it happen. And I just wanted to preface I feel like this time of the year, right? The new year, new year, new goals, new year, new you, right?

[00:00:49] Alison: You hear that stuff all the time and, and a lot of times that can be really off putting and overwhelming Because I think that for a lot of us it feels like we're just treading water we're barely hanging on by our fingernails and the thought of adding more to our plates is just very daunting. And so I I'm going to touch on this again in a little bit, but I just wanted to kind of do an episode on ways that we can move forward in the new year with, with goals, but also keeping ourselves Allowing ourselves grace and keeping everything manageable, right?

[00:01:32] Alison: Because for a lot of us, we don't need to add anything else to our plate. We've got enough on our plate. But at the same time, you're not going to go anywhere in and find success and grow as a person. If you aren't Growing your brain right and focusing on yourself and how can I be a better person and a better mom and a better spouse and just a better human, right?

[00:02:00] Alison: Like if you're, if you're not growing, you're dying. Have you heard that before? Right? If you're not growing, you're dying. And I really take that to heart. Like what can I, and it's not, I don't look at it as I'm adding more stuff to my plate. I look at it as how can I be better? Because of course I'm pretty awesome.

[00:02:17] Alison: I think we all think we're pretty awesome, but how, but I can always do better, right? I can, I can parent better. I cannot lose my, not lose my ish with my kids. Maybe better, right? I can have a deeper more fulfilling relationship with my significant other. I you know, there's things that we can do to You get the most out of our lives right live the best life that we can and want to just sit and stagnate right, okay, so as As you're moving into 2024, I think it's really important to look back at 2023.

[00:02:53] Alison: How did it go? How did it go for you? Did you sit down in 2023 and make goals for yourself? How did you do on those goals, right? Are there Just checking in, right? How did it go? Are there things that didn't quite fit for you? Are there goals that you didn't reach that you're working towards still that maybe just need to be rewritten and then slotted for 2024?

[00:03:16] Alison: Or maybe there's some that just don't fit anymore and that's okay, right? We grow and change every year. And so, so are your goals. Your goals are going to do the same thing. So, looking back. And how you felt in 2023. Is there anything that you want to change? And for me, I like to look at a couple different areas of my life.

[00:03:34] Alison: I like to look at my job. Am I happy? Do I need to change? Could I learn a new skill? Could I find or start a new business? Or maybe it's walk away from something that's no longer serving you. And that's a hundred percent valid, right? So maybe some of your goals for the new year are take some stuff off your plate.

[00:03:53] Alison: Maybe you're Maybe you started volun this is how I'm only telling you this because this actually happened to me is that I was volunteering at the girls school and it turned into me being on the PTA board and I was like, what the what? So then I was like consumed with all this, all of these events and things for the school and it was just, it was so overwhelming.

[00:04:10] Alison: It was too much and I was like, okay, I can't do that anymore. So maybe it's something like that for you, right? You just have to Sometimes you have to let some stuff go that's not serving you anymore. And sometimes you have to let some people go that are not serving you anymore that are draining for you.

[00:04:25] Alison: So taking a, just spending some time in introspection, which sounds very, or just. You know, how are you feeling? How you feeling? You know, and then I, so, so I like to look at, you know, my job, how am I, for me, it's easy this year. I'm leaving here. I won't be having a new job next year because we're PCSing this summer. 

[00:04:49] Alison: But then, so I, so I like to look at that. How's your job going health wise? How are you feeling? Do you have any health concerns that you need to address? Maybe lifestyle changes that you want to make? How do you feel about your relationships? I specifically like to think about my husband and my kids, my immediate family.

[00:05:09] Alison: Do you feel loved and supported and encouraged? Are you happy? I think that's the biggest one. Are you happy? Sit in that for a little bit and see how it feels. And maybe the answer is no, and we have some work to do. Maybe the answer is sometimes. And again, we have some work to do. So, so what is that work then?

[00:05:33] Alison: It's great to talk about all this stuff. What do we do? Well, what, what is it that makes you happy? Focusing on that specifically. Is it time with your family? Is it time by yourself? Is it being outside? Is it exercising? Is it your job or club or a community group that you part of? Maybe it's curling up in a quiet corner with a book for a few hours.

[00:05:52] Alison: What, you know, what is it that makes you happy? And then how can we get more of that, right? Whatever that is for you. And one of the things for me that makes me happy, and I notice a difference in my Just overall, my mood, my behavior, my response to stress, all of the things is having a morning meditation routine.

[00:06:18] Alison: I've talked to you guys about this before, and I have been doing really well with it for years. I mean, like I, I've, again, I've talked about this before, but As a Beachbody coach, Beachbody being a coach didn't work for me in that realm. I am still a coach at the gym, but like in that MLM business, did not work for me.

[00:06:37] Alison: But one of the great things that I took out of it was all of the personal development. And and so that I had a morning routine where I would do a meditation and I would journal and I would, you know, do it. And then I listened to books while I'm walking the dogs or driving the car. And you know, like I'm kind of like working and I had a really good exercise routine going.

[00:06:58] Alison: So I'm kind of working all of these things into my daily routine and, and then plot twist, right? So my girls this year are at two different schools. They're at two different schools and they start at two different times and it's really early. And I don't know if you're like me, I am not a morning person. 

[00:07:18] Alison: No, I'm definitely, definitely not the morning person. So getting up at 6 30 to get Savannah up and ready for school. And then Sophia and like the date, you're like, you're out of the bed running right from 6 30. That's like my bare minimum get up at 6 30. So, and I hate it. So the thought of getting up earlier than that is really, really, really hard, but I really do feel a difference.

[00:07:46] Alison: When I don't have that morning routine, it, it really does change my mood and my overall mental health and looking at my year personally, we've got a big PCS coming this summer, right? I need, I need all the help I can get. So I wanted to share with you guys, I don't know if you've heard of it. It's a book called the miracle morning by Hal Elrod.

[00:08:07] Alison: So it's been out for kind of, I think it's been like 10 years now, somewhere around there. And I read it back in my Beachbody days, and that's where I came up with my so he's got, he's got, okay, so let me just start from the beginning, so In a nutshell. Okay. Well, okay. So the book, the book is incredibly popular.

[00:08:29] Alison: I would be really surprised if you haven't heard from it, heard of it. It sold over 3 million copies. So there's, there's obviously something to it. And then he just released and updated an expanded edition a few weeks ago and he pretty much rewrote. The book. So if you read the old version, I highly recommend that you read the new one.

[00:08:48] Alison: I'm working through it right now. I'm about halfway through, but in a nutshell, the Miracle Morning came about because how he was struggling really hard. Hal Elrod is the author, and it was back in 2008. And if you were in life at that time, The market crashed hard, right? We were, we were in Jacksonville, Florida at the time and had just purchased a home, right?

[00:09:12] Alison: Our first home. And then the market crashed and we were like, what the what? Anyways. So he lost everything pretty much. He was, he was a coach and his coaching clients didn't have the money, right? The market crashed over. hurt and pretty bad. Didn't have the money to hire a coach anymore. So he was deeply in debt.

[00:09:27] Alison: His house being foreclosed. He's really depressed and miserable. And he reached out to a friend who gave him a little kind of verbal shake up, if you will. And he really started to dig into the practices of what successful people are doing. To be successful and what he determined was that there are six main areas of focus or practice that the super successful credited with their success.

[00:09:52] Alison: And they were meditation, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading and journaling or writing. So how thought. Well, what if I just go for it and do all the things I love that all the things I like to say that I Like to do that to all the things so he did and it was really clunky at first but he noticed an immediate difference within the first month and He was talking to his wife one day about how he couldn't believe the changes that he was seeing in such a short period of time with his morning routine and His wife was like, well, it's like your miracle morning.

[00:10:26] Alison: Aha. That's where the name came from. See these ladies were so smart. So he, he condensed the six practices into abbreviation of savers just to keep it simple. So S is for silence, A is for affirmations, V is for visualization, E is for exercise, R is for reading and S is for scribing or writing. So he's just trying to, wanted to have that moniker.

[00:10:48] Alison: And so I'm, I'm not going to dive really into the ins and outs of the book and the ins and outs of those things. But if you think about it, you have probably heard people talking about this stuff, right? Like meditation, people are talking, you know, I spend time in quiet reflection or just slowing your mind down, quieting your mind, turning the noise off, right?

[00:11:12] Alison: How important that is and affirmations. That one is hard and he really tackles that a lot in this one because When you're swimming in debt or, you know, 50 pounds overweight, you're like, I am money, a money magnet. And weight falls off of me easily. And you know, there's, there's a lot of that stuff that, that just doesn't feel right.

[00:11:34] Alison: And so he walks you through that stuff, but like visualization, you hear professional athletes. All the time talking about how they, they're like, they go through the plays in their mind, right? They go through the shot in their mind. They, they're how it's going to play out. They do. That's like, it's a practice.

[00:11:52] Alison: That's obviously very helpful. And then exercise is obviously important reading again, growing your brain and then writing. I think that's just another way. There is a neurological component and this is my fight. Everybody's like, you need a digital calendar. And I'm like, no, I don't. I still have pen to paper and I like it that way and there really is, there is.

[00:12:14] Alison: It's a neurological component that when you are writing pen to paper, not tapping in a phone, but writing pen to paper, it is a different part of your brain that is doing that. So it's, so any who there's there, there are, there is scientific and anecdotal evidence for all of those things. So, okay. Miracle morning.

[00:12:33] Alison: Fantastic. All these things. Fantastic. Okay. I think everyone's first response is getting up earlier. to make these things happen. That's going to be a no for me, dog. Right? That's it. I already don't get enough sleep. I already wake up so early and on and on and on and on. So Hal's response to that is just try it and it doesn't have to be an hour earlier.

[00:12:57] Alison: Right? So there's six practices. If you want to spend 10 minutes in each practice, that's 60 minutes. So get up an hour earlier. Maybe not. And also doesn't even have to be 30 minutes earlier. You can literally take one minute in each of the six savers. And that's, so that's only six minutes earlier than you were already getting up or, or maybe it's a lot of us get up, raise your hands.

[00:13:21] Alison: I, I try really hard not to do this, but Get up and check your phone, check your phone, check your email, get on Instagram, get on Facebook. First thing in the morning is like one of the worst things you can do for your brain. It really and truly is. But maybe we don't do that. Okay. Maybe we, maybe we can take those six minutes and grow your brain instead, right?

[00:13:45] Alison: So what inevitably happens is as you start this practice, if you start visualizing and meditation and affirmations and all the things that you notice a shift, right? You start to, and then, and then hopefully that grows into taking more time each morning to deepen your practice or maybe it's not, maybe it's okay.

[00:14:04] They have an app that I don't know when the app came out, but I heard about it when he was talking about the new book. And in the app they have experiences and they literally will take you through. It's a guided experience. They literally take you through all six of the savers in 10 minutes, in 13 minutes, in six, right?

[00:14:24] Alison: Like they, they walk you through and you get all of them done in a really quick period of time. So again, as you're getting started, Low hanging fruit, right? Like what can we do that's going to be easy for us. So just, you know, give it a try. See how it goes. I did it. I'm doing it. I'm in the middle right now of my, and I was like, you know what?

[00:14:43] Alison: I'll wait until the first of the year. And then I was like, why? I have a house full of family and they're stressing me out. I think it'd be really beneficial if I took a few minutes each morning and calmed myself down and had a little conversation and a little quiet time before going back to the chaos that my house has been for the last couple of weeks with family in town.

[00:15:09] Alison: So I would love for you to try it with me. Okay. And there's an amazing community on Facebook. And then I was just telling you about the app that literally will walk you through each step because you don't really, sometimes we need a little bit of help sitting in silence for any period of time can be scary, right?

[00:15:30] Alison: And affirmations and visualizations, it's, you can feel ridiculous, right? So it's really nice. I really like the guided part of it. And so using, using that is a great way to get started. And then he offers a 30 day challenge online as well that can help keep you accountable. And I highly recommend the app.

[00:15:50] Alison: It's free for seven days and then it's, I think it's 40 a year. maybe something like that. And then again, they have like six to 15 minute guided practices that literally take you through all six of the savers in a short time. And when you're getting started, it, that is really, really, really helpful.

[00:16:09] Alison: Okay. So who's with me, hit me up on Instagram, send me a message, let me know you're going to give it a shot and then we can do it together. We can help keep each other accountable. I will definitely send you a little message and be like, how's it going for you? Okay. So Again, just a friendly reminder to run your own race, so to speak, right?

[00:16:29] Alison: Don't feel the pressure to add more to your plate. If you're already overwhelmed on that same token, though, if you want to see any improvement in your life, it starts with you and what's going on. between your ears. So I heard this is a quote that was kind of the impetus for how Elrod, he talks about it in the beginning of Miracle Morning and it's a quote from Jim Rohn and it says that your level of success will seldom exceed your level of personal development.

[00:17:00] Alison: Because success is something you attract by the person you become. So if you have goals and aspirations to start a business, to grow this thing, to be a better parent, have, , stronger relationships, you've got to work on yourself first before any of that stuff's going to happen. So I thought.

[00:17:21] Alison: Okay. Food for thought. There you go. All right. So switching gears just a little, just a little bit, because I've been in the fitness industry for over a decade now, I wanted to share some insights that I've had over the years, especially as the numbers jump up in the first couple of weeks of the new year and then inevitably they fall right off come February.

[00:17:44] Alison: It's so funny. Every. Never fails every year January. You can't get into your favorite class anymore It's full because there's all these New Year's resolutioners coming in and it's like just hold on to your hat a couple weeks They'll all be gone. Let's not do that. Let's let's see if we can set ourselves up for success.

[00:18:01] Alison: Okay, so how can You make a goal that's sustainable. How can you goals like eat better or go to the gym or drink more water. We tend to pick a goal and one that's pretty big and dive right in, right? Like I haven't been going to the gym at all, but I'm going to go to the gym every day. I can tell you right now, that's probably not going to happen.

[00:18:29] Alison: So if you have a goal to start going to the gym or working out, number one is, What do you like to do as exercise and don't tell me I don't like any exercise. There's gotta be something that you're like, I don't hate this. How about that? That maybe that's the bar. If you don't love exercise, maybe the bar is I don't hate this.

[00:18:51] Alison: So that's what I'm going to do. So number one is identify what that is for you. Maybe it's swimming, maybe it's Zumba, maybe it's yoga, maybe it's cycling, whatever, whatever activity that will, that you actually like. And get excited for that's what you should do. And then number two is start off small. If you haven't been going to the gym or exercising at all, going to the gym every day is setting yourself up for failure.

[00:19:17] Alison: Okay, start with two to three days a week. Maybe commit to going, I'm going to go Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Or I'm going to go on Tuesday and Thursday. And then build from there because this is what happens. Exercise releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy. You feel better about yourself. It's just a, it just keeps building and building and building and building.

[00:19:38] Alison: So you have to, I hate exercise. I don't want to, start off slow and eventually you will feel the benefits. All those endorphins that you get every time you exercise. And it will start, okay I'm gonna, and then you'll do more and more and more. And build off of that, right? It's the same thing with water or food, right?

[00:19:55] Alison: If you haven't been tracking anything, it's And just kind of doing what you want to do, just keeping track of what you're eating or keeping track of how much water you're drinking is already a huge step. Just, just keeping track of that stuff is a beast, right? So sit in that for a little while and then slowly make changes or additions as you go forward.

[00:20:18] Alison: So one of the, and I already said it at the beginning, but one of the things that we used to say all the time back in my animal training days, Was set yourself up for success set your animal up for success. So what? How can you set the conditions in your favor so that you can succeed? So for example, taking yourself to the gym every day, that might be prohibitive for you, right?

[00:20:42] Alison: You've got to get in the car. You got to, well, you got to get up early probably or wherever you're fitting it into your day. You got to get out the door, you got to get your gym clothes on, and then you got to get out the door and in the car and then you got to drive there and then you got to find a place to park and then you have to, Find a class if that's what you want to do that fits in your schedule or figure out which machines you want to use or Right.

[00:21:07] Alison: There's so many at home options these days that are really effective for exercise. So maybe setting yourself up for success is working out at home for now and not schlepping to the gym, especially if your kiddos are really small. So I started working out at home doing beach party programs. They're incredibly effective.

[00:21:27] Alison: I highly recommend started working out at home when the Girls were napping back in the day and then I slowly started to move it to getting up before them as they got older. When they were babies, that was just not, not happening. But while they would nap, I would work out and then as they started to get older, then I started to get up a little bit earlier and get my workout done before they got off.

[00:21:49] Alison: They got up. But again, that's really hard, especially when you've got young kids, they don't sleep well at night. Well, there's the morning can be hard. So maybe that's not your ideal time to work out. Maybe it's not time for you, but I can promise that the baby steps, right? Those are what are going to help you hold on to your goals over the longterm and continue to grow and evolve and not, you know, hit the ground running.

[00:22:18] Alison: I'm going to go to the gym every day. And then You're exhausted and sore after the first week and you're like, yeah. And then it just dwindles and right because you're like, Oh, I didn't go every day. Like I was supposed to. And then you start feeling bad and then it's just like this snowball that turns into this hot mess and then you just stop going and we want to prevent that.

[00:22:37] Alison: So let's not do that. How about that? Okay. All right. So let's, so baby steps, baby steps is the best way. And You know, we get a big burst of energy and drive at the new year to make changes and to live healthier or whatever your goals are. And then we just dive into the deep end. And like I was just saying, inevitably you get tired and you get out.

[00:22:58] Alison: So how about we wade into that shallow end first and then work our way to the deep end. Do you like all the metaphors we're having today? So much fun. Okay. So I'm going to leave you with a quote from the book Atomic Habits by James Clear, which if you have not read, I highly recommend. And the quote goes like this.

[00:23:19] Alison: You don't rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. So set yourself up for success. Small, manageable goals. Remove as many obstacles as you can, like working out at home instead of driving to the gym to help you reach your goals this year. Okay. Much loves you guys. Happy new year until next time.