The Military Money Map with National Guard spouse Olivia!

[00:00:00] All right, so winding down the financial series that we've been doing for the past few weeks. We're talking to military spouse, Lydia, and she is going to share with us her adventures and finance, and what military families can look out for and some, you know, common things that you've seen military family struggle with.

[00:00:21] So, Olivia, welcome to this show. I'm happy to have you. 

[00:00:24] Hi. Thanks for inviting me. 

[00:00:26] Yeah, of course. Okay, so I would like to start out with what is your military affiliation? What is, what is your relationship to the military and what does your 

[00:00:32] military life look like? Well, I'm married to the military, as we all say.

[00:00:38] My husband joined before, right before we got engaged actually. So we just hit our sixth year wedding anniversary. He is part of the Utah National Guard now and. So we went through our whole engagement while he's at basic, we got married two weeks after he got home and had a deployment in 2018.

[00:00:59] 2019, had a baby nine months minus a day from when he got home from his deployment. So very classic story. Mm-hmm. . So she's almost, yeah, happens. So Right, and currently he is. working as a recruiter for the Army National Guard. Okay, cool. So cool. That's, that's where I'm at with him. 

[00:01:20] Nice. And so have you guys stayed in the same place the whole time or, 

[00:01:25] yes, we actually haven't had to move.

[00:01:28] Okay. He was in some units that, like for example, four ID, where that's obviously based in Colorado, but they had him stay in Utah with like a, they called it the Mcpo, where it. , like a smaller unit based connect kind of connected to the larger unit. So we actually haven't had to move. Mm-hmm. . So I know our story as far as that is totally different for most individuals in the military.

[00:01:54] So I've felt very fortunate as well because I've been close to my parents and his parents. So that has been, I, I understand how blessed we've been to have all that support. It's very different. And 

[00:02:07] yeah. Yeah, that's, yeah, for a hundred percent. Cause that's, I, you know, that's probably my biggest struggle or complaint as a ML spouse is that there's no, I, there's no support.

[00:02:19] Right. And then you move. Yes, yes. And it's like, now you're, you know, you're in a middle nowhere and you have nobody, you, no community, you have no, who do you put for your emergency contacts and like, you know, all that stuff. So yeah, it's a blessing to be able to be that close to family. 

[00:02:35] Right. I, I, Personally haven't un had to go through that.

[00:02:40] And some of my best friends, my husband's best friends in high school, actually all of 'em joined a different branch. So , I'm very, I'm best friends with what my husband's high school best friend and he was in the Navy and so they had to move all over. So I, I'm very close with individuals who have gone through that.

[00:02:56] I've. Spoken with clients about it. So I'm aware. I've just personally never had to do that. And I feel for all of you that have to move, it's I, I like to have things so orderly that I can't imagine needing to move all the time and losing and getting everything broken and let's just be so 

[00:03:13] frustrating.

[00:03:14] Well, you know what the thing is though, is that like everybody's military journey is different.

[00:03:21] Mm-hmm. and, you know, it is what it is for you. And it's, you know, I don't think anyone is, You know, harder or easier than the other. I think there's just, there's only pluses and minuses to whatever, you know what I mean? Wherever you end up being. Yeah. But, okay, so that's really cool. That's, that's really cool for for your family that you've been able to stay close to everybody and not have to move around.

[00:03:39] That's because that is one of the more challenging parts of the military. So for you to be in the military and not have to experience that, yay. That's . Yes. Yes. Good stuff. Great. 

[00:03:47] Good stuff. Yeah, it's awesome. . 

[00:03:50] Awesome. Okay. So so then switching gears a little bit, what has your career path looked like since you've been a military spouse or even before that?

[00:03:58] How did you, and I guess, kind of caveating that into how have you grown in the finance area? What has that career trajectory looked like for you? 

[00:04:06] Yes. Well, things definitely turned out differently than I originally thought I would when I started college as an 18 year old.

[00:04:14] So I started my bachelor's in child development. Oh, okay. And . Then I married my husband and he obviously had to stay in Utah and I was going to school in Idaho. So I had to think, okay, well do I live apart from my husband for another two years or do I move home and switch my major because the, they didn't offer child development online because so much of it is working with children, so, mm-hmm.

[00:04:43] I ended up switching to a similar degree, marriage and family. with a professional emphasis, which is an, which ended up being what I got my bachelor's in. And I never realized until I actually started getting into that degree online that I really actually had more of a passion to help families through, like helping marriages.

[00:05:08] and so obviously I have a acute emphasis in child development and just development of people and psychology, and then the professional side is therapy, so I had a huge wide net of understanding people as a whole, from infancy to adulthood, and I just had a hard time doing actual therapy. , you know, and working with people and just getting into traumas and abuse and it was just so heavy for me.

[00:05:39] I really connect with people and it just, I, I was drained anytime I tried to even work in that kind of atmosphere. And same with all the child's development careers that I could go into, you know, working in hospitals with kids that are terminally ill and it, it was just really. So as I'm finishing my degree, I'm trying to decide, well, what am I gonna do for a career?

[00:06:06] You know, we're not going to need to move. I know that because he's stationed in Utah, part of the Utah National Guard, so I can actually build something here. So I wasn't as restricted as other military spouses are. Sure. But I also knew that it wasn't going to be long term for me. That's something I'd be able to do because I would be too worn down.

[00:06:30] I go to to my internship, and this was act, it was, I was online, but it was actually, the class was still hosted in Idaho, so I had to live stream it and participate and get really in depth with all of these people. And it was actually in life coaching instead of therapy. and life coaching is different than therapy because it doesn't deal with traumas and all of that.

[00:06:53] Like people that are life coaches are not certified in any way, shape, or form or license for that. Instead, they're certified in helping people realize what they want, set goals and actually carry it out. And it was very similar to therapy in the fact that you were helping people move forward. However, , it wasn't as heavy and I thoroughly enjoyed working with all the clients I did with my internship.

[00:07:19] They all had different goals and it was just so interesting to be able to lead but not actually set the goals. You help them focus and figure things out. And I love that aspect instead of the therapy side. And so I was thinking a lot, what can I do with this? You know, do I try a life coach? Do I try to, you know, and I kept going.

[00:07:41] I also, around the same time, , I had to do a class where I focused on research and somehow I ended up researching how finance affects marriages. And spoiler alert, it really impacts marriages. And this is worldwide, not the, not just the us, not just military.

[00:08:02] There are some astounding. Stats out there that show really how much it impacts. So that kind of the groundwork I get to finishing my bachelor's. I took my my graduation pictures a week before I gave birth to my daughter. And, and so at the timing it was just, I hit that everything was different in my life and I really just didn't know what to do at that point.

[00:08:27] So I felt kinda stuck cuz I have a new baby and so it's hard. , you know, go start a career, especially when I didn't know what to do. So I decided to go back to school . Cause you know, maybe that'll help. And I started a certificate program to be certified as a financial planner because I really liked that link that I had found.

[00:08:48] And as I'm going through that, I just, Running into people that really impact me. I had an assignment where I had to interview people in the financial spectrum. I found someone who's a financial therapist and she said, you know, why don't you just go get a master's in it instead of doing the certificate?

[00:09:04] So, okay. I applied for the master's program. To give a master's in finance. One of the school counselors there is like, you know what, let's connect you to this one person I know that actually does coaching and does financial coaching. And so I connected with him and I've actually been able to hire him and cultivate this business relationship where he has actually helped me build a business where I can teach financial literacy to individuals.

[00:09:29] And that's where my online course is. And. really have love for the military community as rough as it can be. Mm-hmm. Emotionally, but then people are pretty rough in the military as well. Mm-hmm we're not suit all super polished and it's just different than working with everyday clients and so I really just found a love there and that's why I developed military money.

[00:09:53] I have the online course, so I know people are all over the world and . sometimes just being able to listen to something versus reading or is, it's just really helpful to learn. So yeah, I have the online course, the military money accelerator, and then I also do webinars where I teach the four money mistakes that military families make.

[00:10:13] And the last one I hosted was in September, and that is online on my website where people can watch that for free. The recording of that. Webinar. And now I, I work with clients.

[00:10:25] They go through my military money accelerator course, and I work with them one-on-one with their personal goals that they want to do. And just help progress them forward. 

[00:10:34] You really do focus on military families. That's kind of the, the passion that you have found there. And then what does that look like when you, when you work with someone? Is that, cause you, I mean, obviously military families are all over the world, is that Yeah, usually like Zoom calls, how often do you meet with them?

[00:10:49] Mm-hmm. , like, what does that, what does that relationship look like? 

[00:10:53] Okay. So yeah, typically, , I end up creating a relationship through these free webinars. Actually, most people, they find value in it and they're like, Hey, I wanna learn more. And so then I meet with them, I see kind of what's going on with them.

[00:11:07] Mm-hmm. . And then we kind of come up with a plan. And typically what I do is we weekly meetings via Zoom. If we can only do phone calls, cuz that's all that can happen, then that's what will be done. But typically Zoom. Preferred because you can talk, you can share your screen, all of that. So I typically use Zoom and it's once a week for 12 weeks, and then once a month going after, because that'll the 12 weeks should get them through the course.

[00:11:35] If you both spouses can make it, that's the dream. That's the what's gonna work best as far as communicating and getting things like the goals pushed forward. . 

[00:11:44] Gotcha. So you said so your webinars are probably titled different things, but the you, the course that you have is Military and Money Accelerator, is that what it's called? Yes. Mm-hmm. . And what is kind of the, like, what are the, what's like the overview or the Cliff Notes version of that?

[00:11:58] Like what does that course entail? Who would mm-hmm. , who would be, who would be a good candidate to take that course? 

[00:12:04] Yeah. So my main focus is military service members and their spouses. Yeah. However, it is beneficial for those military members that are single, that totally all the principals still apply.

[00:12:17] You start learning K overview of the course, who are the team, the people you need on your team that are helping you support your goals.

[00:12:24] And a lot of it, you know, starting the baby is mindset because finance is mostly mindset and achieving your goals is mostly mindset with, especially with finance. So we talk about that a lot. I really. The couples dig into what's actually going on with their money. Now, most individuals are not aware.

[00:12:42] They feel like they've got a handle on it, and unless they actually know where things are going, it's hard. Where it is now, it's hard to. get to where they're going without knowing the starting place. So a lot of it focuses on that. And then I go into learning about, you know, how to actually create a budget, which I call a money plan, because budget has such a negative connotation.

[00:13:03] That money plan is what it is. It's just planning what you're doing with your money. We talk about saving and you know, debt, which is a huge thing for military. We talk about estate planning, which a lot of the courses out there that I've seen, Do not actually adequately cover estate planning. And yes, that is also covered.

[00:13:22] Like you can get go to the JAG and they can help you. But in my experience, it hasn't been as helpful and because you don't actually understand what it all does, what you actually need. So I talk a lot about estate planning and insurance to keep yourself covered and protected. I do go over investing basics, but this is not an investment.

[00:13:43] Of course. So we just talk about what things are and so you kind of have an understanding to then make decisions yourself. Obviously retirement. , depending on how your career is gonna go in the military, retirement's gonna look different for everybody. So we talk about those different ways that it can go.

[00:14:01] And you know, we talk about homes, we talk about, you know, college like GI Bill, the state tuition waiver for National Guard, saving for your children's college, you know, different things like that. And then also, , just kind of like weight tips that like help you with different things like negotiating or dealing with creditors, different things like that.

[00:14:19] So, mm-hmm. , it really covers overarching, you know, here's a good outline of everything that's really helpful for you to know without actually going and getting a degree in it and getting super in depth. But then, meeting with me one-on-one. I'm able to help tailor it to you. Like, okay, this stuff, yeah, it's good to know, but it's not really applicable to you because you've decided that you don't want children, so you don't need to save for children for college or, or whatnot.

[00:14:45] Or, you know, I'm single so I don't really need to focus on, you know, X, Y, Z. And so it really, the course is meant to, to teach, to educate. And then the coaching sessions with me really. Nail down what you are working on and actually tailor it towards your specific goals instead of just following a, this is the step A, B, C, D, and you just do it.

[00:15:07] And that's how it goes. And doesn't matter what your goals are, if that makes sense. 

[00:15:12] Yeah. So, so then kind of piggybacking off of that a little bit, what do you, as you're working with military families, what are kind of the biggest struggles that you see people having? 

[00:15:25] Well, . The biggest thing I really see, and I do talk about this in my free webinar, is not having a long-term view of life.

[00:15:36] And while that's not necessarily finance numbers, it really impacts everything. So when you don't realize what you want, you know, 30, 40 years down the road, it's hard to prioritize your. , everyone has so many things. They're interested in so many things they want to do in life, but unless you know where you want to be and actually have a destination, it's really hard to, you know, set those stopping points of, or starting points stopping or starting points of each goals.

[00:16:04] And that's actually. even true with investing. So one thing I've learned with getting my masters when learning about investing is that most investors actually switch who they're investing with in their financial planners before every three years, because they go a year, they go two years and investments just aren't performing how they want.

[00:16:25] And so they're like, okay, it must be the person managing it. So they switched. But the problem is, is that, you know, stocks aren't, aren't re as far. Data goes, it's, they're not that new, especially some of the newer stocks or mutual funds or really any of those investing vehicles. And so they don't have a long-term view.

[00:16:46] And so they have these expe expectations of, I really need these specific returns, when really they may get those like 10%, I want a 10% return, but you need at least 30 years to have that overall. And so it's just people are not having that long-term. with their life. So everything, expectations really.

[00:17:07] Yeah. Yes, exactly. And so having that longer term view really helps with your mindset and helps you realize, okay, is this actually a crisis? Okay, then I'm going to, you know, not, I'm just gonna ride the wave. And so that really helps with that. And then the only, the other thing I really see, and this is probably expected, is.

[00:17:29] It debt is really high with military. I think it's probably because 18 year olds are getting 20, $30,000 bonuses when they sign on, and so that's, it's awesome and it can set them up honestly. Great for their retirement, for everything if they had the long-term view. But most 18 year olds don't. , you know, even 30 year olds don't really have a long-term view and so mm-hmm.

[00:17:54] That's kind of something I really do see, and it's shifting the mindset around debt. to actually make changes. And so that's something that everyone knows, oh, I probably shouldn't be in debt. I shouldn't use credit cards to pay for everything and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Like everyone has heard all these things, but you don't actually do anything until you understand like whys.

[00:18:15] And so that, I really help with that and with spouses in particular. , a big thing I see is how they communicate about finance or communication in general. Mm-hmm. and because of my bachelor's and my based foundation in marriage and family mm-hmm. , I really have an understanding of how that impacts so much.

[00:18:36] Mm-hmm. and Finance is a great place to start if you are having kind of a hard time. with marriage because it's something concrete you can work together on and practice communicating about because it does bring up those hard emotions and it's kind of a heavy topic and a lot of people have very different views about finance.

[00:18:56] And so if you're able to do something like finance where it's not actually about the individual person and you can learn to communicate about that. Mm-hmm. , you can then in turn, with your marriage, not just with the numbers and the stress and all of those other statistics, but I've also seen it help them communicate about other issues they have in their marriage because mm-hmm.

[00:19:17] they're able to communicate about finance and then translate it to other issues. So those are kind of the biggest, I'd say, three issues I've seen that really impact 

[00:19:26] the. Yeah, I, I think that it's that you have a really smart model and that, Hey, we're gonna talk about money. We're not doing like deep dive, like you want this fund and this and this and this.

[00:19:39] It's more of like the psychology behind money and how you can. Work through with your partners. That which, which I think is really smart because you know, they say that like the biggest stressors in marriages are money and moving and kids,

[00:19:59] huge military and then agree with you. I think that debt is also really, really, really challenging. I don't know that it's necessarily just the military. . But I think it's, I mean, I think it's prevalent. Mm-hmm. , we just, we've had a very consumer based society for a really long time mm-hmm. , and we've gotten ourselves into a lot of really tough situations.

[00:20:20] Mm-hmm. and it's, you know, exactly like you were saying, make a plan, like, how can we, you know, you know, write the ship and, and make better decisions. And then, and then I think it's also really smart too. . A lot of people have no, they really don't know where their money's going, you know? Mm-hmm. , they don't have like, this is how much I'm spending on groceries every month.

[00:20:38] this is, I'm spending, they have no idea. It's just like, oh my gosh, our money's gone. Or what? You know, and then the conversations that you have. And then I think there's a lot, you know, I don't know if you've seen this or not, but that there's a lot of. That you bring with you from what you've seen from your parents in childhood.

[00:20:56] Yes. And different financial experiences that you've had as an individual and then you bring someone else in that also has their own experiences and Yes. You know, issues around money and you try to bring that together, like that's hard to navigate sometimes. Yes. So I think it, yeah, I think that your kind of take on that, like let's take like a, you know, like kind of a marriage family therapy.

[00:21:20] outlook to finance, I think is, is really, really, really smart. Yeah. I love that. Yes. 

[00:21:25] Yes. And while, while it is important to actually know, like, here's how I should be managing a budget, here's how X, Y, z, like, it's important to know all those things, but really knowing it isn't gonna change anything, you know?

[00:21:39] And so that's, that's why I do go with that approach cuz it really is impactful And, and so that's why it's such a, beginning. That's what we need to understand first. And you know, it's funny, so some statistics with marriage and finance is I'll, I'll throw some out there just to kind of show how prevalent it actually is.

[00:21:59] But in the top 10, it's actually only at the, like six is what one study is found. It's the sixth most argued about. . So you'd think, oh, it would be like 1, 2, 3. Cuz it comes up all the time. Yeah. And it's not actually argued about as frequently, however it is for women. I'm, the two things that predicted divorce for women were finances and household duties and taking care of children, like being overwhelmed with that.

[00:22:30] For men it was sex and. . So it's actually why it's so heavy and hard is because finance is never going away. Mm-hmm. . And so the top, the finance wal maybe not argued about every single day, like some arguments, maybe like household chores or, Hey, I wanna have sex, sorry, I have a headache. You know, that kind of thing.

[00:22:52] What happens is there's a, it's called gridlock where you hit an argument and it just happens over and over and over and over and over, and it's the same. not just topic, but like situation. Yeah. And so when you hit that same situation over and over, that's why it is actually a predictor of divorce.

[00:23:11] Mm-hmm. , it's because it brings out, when you're hitting that gridlock, it makes it almost impossible to talk about it effectively because people start using. Ineffective ways to communicate. Mm-hmm. , they start mm-hmm. . John Gottman is a marriage researcher and he's got some really awesome I actually include this in my course, like this resources, like extra resources to go and read about, but he has something, he calls 'em the four Horsemen of Communication and using these four horsemen.

[00:23:39] Predict divorce in, in his research. And he is like, he has so much research out there. So he is an awesome resource for those that want to get more into that as far as specifically marriage. Mm-hmm. . But people start criticizing other people. Criticism is one they criticize, oh, you're spending like a teenager, blah, blah, blah, like mm-hmm.

[00:23:58] you know, whatever. Or they are contemptuous, oh, I would never spend money on that. That's such a big time. They'll get defensive. Well, , I spent my on this, but you spent money on this. And so they end up turning it around on the other person, or finally they're stonewalling where you just completely cold shoulder ignore.

[00:24:15] You won't discuss it. And when you get to those points where you're arguing about the same issue in finance over and over and over, you get to those points and that just puts the tension in your marriage, which then bleeds over to other aspects that are going well. And that's why it is such an impactful way to go about.

[00:24:33] Because it is, it can be surface level and can bleed deeper, but it does the same if you also aren't going about it effectively. It leads deeper in marriage and vice 

[00:24:43] versa. Yeah, yeah, for sure. If you could sit down with every single military family, what would your best advice be?

[00:24:52] First thing, like we talked. , figure out individually, where do you see yourself in 40 years? Mm-hmm. , who do you see yourself with? Mm-hmm. , like, you know, that's a big, that's a big thing too, especially for those younger military individuals that maybe are wanting to get outta the barracks and thinking about marrying someone that they met three weeks ago.

[00:25:11] While those stories are awesome and some people, it ends up being awesome when they see Mary for 70 years, whatever. Yeah. Some people, it's, it's not and so really just really thinking about where do you see. when you're 60, 65 and you're civilian like retired age, you know, where do you see yourself when you plan on retiring from the military?

[00:25:31] Do you see yourself retiring from the military or do you see yourself fulfilling your contract and getting out? Like, what do you see yourself doing? Right. And so I have some visualization exercises in my course that people can do to help with that. Mm-hmm. . Cause they need to know what they want. Mm-hmm.

[00:25:46] And then for those spouses, you get together and you talk about what you. and then you say, okay, well I want this, I want this. They're different. Okay, well where's the common ground? Or what's a common goal that we want to work on together? How can we have both? You know? So you figure out what you want so you can personally be fulfilled with looking back in your life, you know, you're happy with your life.

[00:26:07] You don't really have many regrets. This is, you know, but then you also need to do that as a couple. So thinking about that, planning your life, not necessarily, you don't have to plan every single minute, but just kind of over. You know, goals or overarching themes for your life. 

[00:26:22] And then once you have your overarching theme and goal of your life and what you wanna have accomplished, actually set concrete goals and with timelines.

[00:26:32] And so that helps poop you forward. Mm-hmm. . And then when you and your spouse know, hey, by the, when we're, when we retire from the military, , we want to do this together. You know, you have those actual steps as you go throughout your life. Mm-hmm. and just being on the same page and talking about specifics really helps.

[00:26:49] And then also actually working with someone really helps too. Someone who's not necessarily in your marriage, like get some outside help. Like obviously like I would, it would be great if you came and I worked with you cuz I love it. . But you know, there are other resources out there to help you. You have the free one from the military if they aren't fulfilling all your needs.

[00:27:11] and you have to go outside. That's okay. Like you, military provides a lot of free resources. Mm-hmm. free doesn't always mean perfect. Mm-hmm. . And so find the people that are going to support you in your goals. Mm-hmm. . And keep them in your corner. Keep them in your circle. And so those are probably, you know, take support where you can, like we talked about

[00:27:31] Yeah. Yeah. So . But those are some of the biggest things. Because once you understand and you can have that big picture and you know, you're on the same team with your spouse, you can really go through pretty much anything when you know that. 

[00:27:44] Yeah, I, I agree with that a hundred percent because it's, you know, There's so many aspects to the military life that are really, really challenging.

[00:27:53] And again, when you are isolated from family and you move to a brand new town and you don't have any friends and you don't have any community, it's just your spouse. Yeah. If that's not like tight and you guys aren't. Going in the same direction and it's really tough. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. It's really tough. So whatever we can do to bring ourselves together and to, you know, communicate how we need to, and mediate, like, like you said, bring in a third party to help.

[00:28:20] Like, cause a lot of times, you know, from the outside looking in, right? Like you have conversations with your, with your friends and you're like, well, do you know, do they not see that this is what they're doing or what, you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. , sometimes you need. You need someone over your shoulder to kind of mm-hmm.

[00:28:36] you know, guide and, and help a, as much as they can with, with those little things. Yeah. So, so if someone was interested, okay, so tell us where we can find your course. Mm-hmm. And and the best way to get in touch with you if someone is interested in, in seeking out your your help. . 

[00:28:52] Okay. Yeah. So there's a couple different ways you can always email me.

[00:28:56] Olivia military money map.com. I'll also send you a link to my website so people can click, click on it in, like, in the link for your Yeah. Show notes. Yeah, that's the word. Definitely put there. . But it'll, on my website, you'll be able to see the course you can purchase as well as the.

[00:29:16] the free course if you want to just go into the webinar and kind of, that really just helps focus on mindset. Mm-hmm. a lot. Mm-hmm. The webinar's really good for that. So that's what I would do is just go to my website. I also am on Facebook and on Instagram at military Money Map. so they can follow along with that.

[00:29:32]

[00:29:32] Okay. Perfect. So I'll make sure that we link all of those in the, in the show notes so that people, cause that's, I think great, I mean, there's nothing to lose by checking out a free webinar, right? Yeah. Cause then they can kinda get an idea of what you. What you have to offer and what that kind of looks like.

[00:29:45] And it's a great place to kinda dip your foot in. So that's definitely a resource to check out for sure. Okay. Well, Olivia, I really appreciate your time. I appreciate your patience as we navigating the technical difficulties of Zoom that we were having today. 

[00:29:57] So , , no, I understand the technical difficulties all too well.

[00:30:02] Having an online course meeting with people via Zoom, I 100% get it. And it is one of the most frustrating things probably about having like a business . Cause that's fine. Yeah. 

[00:30:12] A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Alright Olivia, thank you for your time. I appreciate you so much.