Triumph over tragedy. Fighting for VA benefits and small mindset shifts that can transform your relationship with your challenges

[00:00:00] Alison: today we are talking to Brittany. And Brittany is a retired army spouse, and her husband was severely injured serving overseas and was honorably discharged and has had a plethora of medical things coming out of his time and service.

[00:00:19] Alison: With that, Britney had to make a hard pivot. , having a spouse come home that severely injured, what that looks like. Dealing with P T S D, traumatic brain injury, all of those things. And then how can we move from trauma to triumph? And, you know Britney has pivoted multiple times, and you have a speaking business now where you go and you give talks to businesses and organizations.

[00:00:44] Alison: And then we're gonna get into too, you started a nonprofit, right? It's a 5 0 1. Mm-hmm. Yeah, five . And for service dogs, SD gunner. And so we're gonna talk about that a little bit too. So that's just kind of the preface, but Bri. 

[00:00:56] Britnee: That was a lot. Welcome to the show. I'm 

[00:00:58] Alison: happy to have you here.

[00:00:59] Alison: I appreciate you taking the time to talk to us today. No, 

[00:01:02] Britnee: thanks for having us. I'm glad to be here. 

[00:01:04] Alison: Yeah, of course. Okay, so I always like to start, what is your affiliation to the military and then we'll just kind of keep going from there. 

[00:01:13] Britnee: Yeah, so I married my husband and he served in the military for 20 years in the Army.

[00:01:22] Britnee: He went overseas to Iraq in June of oh four to October of oh five. And then he was catastrophically injured by an I e D explosion while overseas in oh five. Yeah. So that's sort of my, my history with that. 

[00:01:38] Alison: Yeah, that's a lot. And so were, how long were you with him for the full 20 years before he was injured or you guys were, it was kind of the tail end of his military 

[00:01:47] Britnee: career.

[00:01:47] Britnee: I. Yeah. So I was not I came in on the back end of things. Gotcha. I was with him the last two years. He was in service. Okay. Yeah. Until his retirement in 2010. So we yeah, we met in 2008 and then we got married in, in 2010 when he, I guess right after he got out of the military, so, yeah.

[00:02:10] Britnee: Okay. Gotcha. Okay. So, so then walk us through just a little bit of 

[00:02:16] Alison: what does that look like? You're, because I, I feel like, and I feel like we're a little bit removed from it now because we're not actively in combat situ, I mean, there's still guys all over the world doing things that we don't know anything about, and I don't wanna make light of that, but we're not in those active combat situations where there's hundreds of thousands of troops every day in, in Iraq and Afghanistan and things like that.

[00:02:40] Alison: I feel like we're just kind of step back from it a little bit, but, but I think we need to remember that. There's still men and women who have served and who are injured and who are still, are still living with the repercussions of that. , and I feel like, you know, I remember my husband we're Navy, so we were in just a little bit of a different context, I think, than troops that are actively on the ground.

[00:03:02] Alison: I always felt like. I don't know, like I always felt a little bit safer, so like he's on a boat and I know things can happen. The US s coal got bombed while it was sitting in port over overseas. I know things can happen there too, but I always, but it's that fear that you have of like the phone call or the knock on the door.

[00:03:19] Alison: , I feel like as military spouses, that's something that's kind of always in the back of our heads and even, you know, they go on training missions and things can happen there too. So can you walk us through just a little bit of what that, what that's like 

[00:03:31] Britnee: so I actually come into this from a little different perspective. Okay. My husband was blown up in 2005. Yeah. So I met him in 2008, so I did not actually go, go through everything. Okay.

[00:03:44] Britnee: So unlike, unlike a lot of spouses where you deal with the active duty deployment and so forth, and then you, you are able to spot, you know, the changes from, oh, he was like this before. He was like this afterwards. I don't have a comparison to that, but I, I did meet my husband after the injuries were already in place.

[00:04:05] Britnee: And so I don't, I don't know him before. Okay. I know, I know what his family's told me. He was like before, but I, I don't know him before. So when I met him though, I can speak on the aspect of I met him in 2000 and, and eight. He was still in the military. He was in the process of med boarding out that took way longer than what it should have.

[00:04:32] Britnee: And he was fighting. What little bit he could process and understood. He was fighting for his benefits at the va. And and I'm sure like most well, I'm not, I'm not gonna assume, but in his position he tried very hard to hide all of his injuries because he felt like I would not want to be with him if he was broken or damaged.

[00:04:58] Britnee: Mm-hmm. So he did a really good job. Mm-hmm. I did not suspect anything, you know, at first. And then as our relationship progressed, I, I noticed quirks, I'll call him quirks, you know, and I was like, well, that's, that's a little different. You know, or, you know, he, he did that a little oddly. Yeah. So you know, and then finally I was going through, I was helping him organize his house one day and I found a big bin of military stuff, and yeah, I'm nosy, so I just started going through everything and I started seeing all of the, the documentation and the stuff, and I'm like, Wait a second.

[00:05:33] Britnee: Like, what, what is all this stuff? And it was really kind of hard back then because when he got home in October of oh five, he went to the VA for help. And the VA back then told him that they did not recognize traumatic brain injury as an actual injury. So they actually marked him as post-concussive migraines.

[00:05:57] Britnee: And I'm like, yeah, but his l o d, which stands for loss on duty report his l o d from where he was blown up, clearly stated traumatic brain injury, you know? Yeah. And I was like, well, if it's in the L O D, then why don't you, why don't you recognize it? You know? Mm-hmm. And so that, that was the hardest part was so many veterans like him, and in his position when I met him, he was, He was ready to, to give up.

[00:06:24] Britnee: Like he had been fighting for so long trying to get benefits and he was just like, yeah, you know, screw it. I'm, I'm done, you know, I'm not gonna do this anymore. Yeah, yeah. And so in steps me miss type A personality and I'm like, Nope, I got this. I'm gonna take over. You know? And so it kind of, it, that turned into a whole debacle, you know, within itself.

[00:06:42] Britnee: But it he was on the, I mean he was on the verge of, of, of giving up. And, and that's what what bothered me really and truly, because I'm like, no, you, you, you fought for your country. You shouldn't have to. And I didn't understand because my, my family, yes, I have military members in my family, but you're talking about like my grandfather.

[00:07:03] Britnee: So I was not going through all of that. Sure. And as a civilian, I had to learn real quick and I had to get up to speed real quick on, on Army terms and VA terms. And I was like, you know, it, it, it was different for me cuz a crash course, you know, on how all this stuff works.

[00:07:20] Britnee: And I'm like, holy cow. So I'm having to deal with med board, I'm having to deal with VA and, and I have no military experience whatsoever. Right? Yeah. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I need a handbook for all these acronyms and stuff. And I'm like, okay. Hundred percent. But maybe, maybe, honestly, it was a blessing because I was not affiliated with the military, so I was not used to military procedures.

[00:07:44] Britnee: Mm-hmm. And I don't know if that was a blessing or a curse for whichever side because mm-hmm. I didn't know what Army procedures were, and nor was I going to abide by them, because that was not my thing, you know? And it, and they, they were like, well, you can't do this. I'm like, well, I'm not married to the military, so I'm rolling up in here and I'm doing this.

[00:08:00] Britnee: You know? Yeah. Yeah. And so it kind of, It, it worked like somehow or the other, I don't know how I didn't get arrested, but, you know, it worked, , and it's, it's one of those things, like I walked into one of the commander's offices on Fort Jackson in South Carolina. Yeah. Yeah. And I said, I'm not, I'm not leaving here until we come to a decision.

[00:08:19] Britnee: And, and she looked at me and she was like, who are you? And I was like, we're either gonna be best friends or you're gonna have me escorted off the premises. Like, I'm not exactly sure, but I'm not leaving. And I was with her for probably four hours. I'll leave her name out of it. But yeah. But I was with her for like four hours and then we finally got, we found my husband's med board paperwork, Uhhuh hold, holding up the end of a desk of his lieutenant at the time, under three inches of dust.

[00:08:51] Britnee: So remind you, , my husband was in med board for over two years. Yeah. It's, and we couldn't figure out why. And so when we started pulling, like, yeah, they had, they were using his paperwork to prop up the end of a desk, you know? Yeah. And so by, by the time she helped me find the paperwork, that person ended up getting demoted and dealt with accordingly.

[00:09:12] Britnee: But I was just like, this is unacceptable. I was like, if this is how you process people like, We have, there needs to be a change, you know, a hundred percent. And of course, this was back in 2008. It's, it's been quite a while. But we went through all of that. And so for me, coming in as a civilian, yeah, if it was it was an overwhelming, would be a, a nice way of putting it.

[00:09:38] Britnee: Right. Having to get up to speed of 20 years worth of service, 20 years worth of, you know, VA paperwork and army paperwork and med board paperwork. And if you have acronyms, terminology, how the process works. And it was awful. Yeah, to be honest zero stars do not recommend. You know, and it's like, okay, well here we go.

[00:09:59] Britnee: , and I'm kind of the person I have found a lot of times with military spouses, And this is not to put a label on anybody, but in general, right. You either have the military spouses that are gonna be Type A, overly involved and a little bit controlling. That would be me. That would be me. You, you're gonna have the spouses that really don't get involved with anything.

[00:10:19] Britnee: They, they take what their husband says and, and, or, or, or their wife or spouse or whoever Right. And goes with it. Yeah. And so they're kind of disconnected. Sure. And then you have the ones in, , the other section where they just really wanna get based in Hawaii or Germany or Japan and like, travel and do all the fun stuff, you know?

[00:10:36] Britnee: Right. And so it's kind like, and yes, there's, there's other people that, that 

[00:10:39] Alison: fall outside of those, those 

[00:10:41] Britnee: three categories. But that seems to be, in my experience, in dealing with spouses, the, the three main. Sections Sure. Of military spouses and, and where they fall Yeah. And how they deal with things. And it's, it's not a bad thing either way, but Sure.

[00:10:56] Britnee: Your, your type a's really don't understand the spouses that just kind of take whatever their husband says, or their spouse or their wife or partner and goes with it. Yeah. Right. Cause I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I, I need, I need more details. Yes. Like, I need, I need the paperwork, I need the details, I need the name, I need the phone number, email address, all the above, 

[00:11:14] Britnee: right. Yes. And so 

[00:11:15] Alison: it's kind of, it, 

[00:11:16] Britnee: it's different on how you approach each individual Yes. And how they handle things. And that was a learning curve for me too, because I am Type A, I do tend to bulldog into certain circumstances, and I had to take a step back because I, I had to realize that I was, I was a little overbearing for, for some, and then for others, they were like, hell yeah.

[00:11:37] Britnee: Like, go for it, you know? And it's like, right, okay, well, all right. Got a support network. You know? And so it, it's learning that, Way of delegating and figuring out how to, how to do that was, was very difficult for me. Yeah. Not being involved in the military family and marrying my husband after the fact.

[00:11:56] Alison: , I really appreciate that because that is, I, you know, I feel like. I think you're right. I think you have that personality that's like, I'm not gonna take anything at face value. I wanna understand and make sure that this is the way that it's supposed to be.

[00:12:10] Alison: I'm not just gonna take your word for it, that this is how it's supposed to be. Cuz that's my personality as well. But I know that not everybody, you're right, not everybody is like that. So as you're navigating through and trying to get him the benefits that he deserves , you end up getting to a point where, so he's just stagnated on his med board.

[00:12:29] Britnee: There was no rating. And they were actually the commander or the lieutenant that was using his paperwork as a, as a desk leveler was actually marking him sick.

[00:12:39] Britnee: So if you go back and you pull his records, it says that he was sick, , and he was sick for like, Two years. And I'm like, did anybody anything a red flag? Like we talking covid, you know, like what happened? Leukemia something, right? Yeah. But no, he was marked sick for, for two and a half years on, on his med board and nobody flagged it.

[00:12:59] Britnee: Yeah, nobody caught it. Nobody, granted, I know there's a ton of soldiers in the military. Sure. But and, and back then it was not a streamlined process like it is now. So now when soldiers

[00:13:09] Alison: out, oh, ok. Yeah. Now, 

[00:13:11] Britnee: now, I dunno. Now when soldiers get out, when they do your med board, you automatically have a VA rating.

[00:13:17] Britnee: Yes. Like it's, it's tied all together. When, when my husband got out, you did the med board, you got your rating, which was one rating. Then you had to turn around and take all that same crap over to the VA and hope that you get something close and they're remotely not close. And so when he finally got his med board rating Yeah.

[00:13:37] Britnee: He was 80% on the Army. Okay. And then we applied to the va. And then the VA came back and said 10%. Now also, you have to figure into the fact as well, my husband served from November of 1989 to September 10th, 2010. Okay. Yeah. Or 9, 9, 15. 10. So September 15th, 2010. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So even though that's technically what, 20, 21 years?

[00:14:11] Britnee: Yeah. The military, like a lot of things that tend to go wrong when you're trying to retire, they miscalculated his years of service and marked him at 18. So he does not actually get retirement pay. So not only are we fighting for, and unfortunately when I appealed that the place that keeps your records From his service.

[00:14:38] Britnee: Granted, they get shipped off to wherever that is, stone Mountain or somewhere. Right. So wherever they ship the records off to they conveniently couldn't find them. They lost them. So I have no way of proving o other than I have his, you know, his his enlistment from like a i t and all that stuff.

[00:14:56] Britnee: I can show the progress, but like, I don't have any because they lost his records. So I can't, I don't have anything physical cuz I didn't date him or was married to him while he was in the military. Right. To prove that he did the 21 years. Right. So he does not get retirement pay under any circumstances.

[00:15:12] Britnee: So that got thrown out the door. And so now we're fighting for VA pay. Because your your med board Yes. Pays the percentage of, of his pay, which is not great. It's, it's there, but it's, you know, so when you go through the process for those listening, you have the option, if you do not get retirement, you have to choose which one you wanna receive.

[00:15:33] Britnee: Either your med board pay or your VA pay. You cannot receive both. So in his position, because he did not have the 20 year retirement, we had to choose, obviously VA pay is more than his take home pay from the military med board. So we had to choose to take the VA pay. Well, when you choose to take the VA pay while you're waiting on the VA to make a decision, they do not pay you the military med board pay.

[00:16:00] Britnee: So you're without any money. Mm-hmm. Until you get the VA pay. Now, my husband filed his first v, his first VA claim in October. Of 2005 when he got back, because he was trying to claim his traumatic brain injury that he was listed for on his l o d. Okay. He did not receive his first rating until December 21st, 2012.

[00:16:27] Britnee: So I'm gonna let you math there. So two 

[00:16:28] Alison: years with no pay, with nothing while they're waiting to figure out their stuff. Is that it? God, that 

[00:16:34] Britnee: it's like two, two years on the va? Yes. But he filed his VA claim while he was in the military. So remember he got blown up in oh five. So he did file the VA claim in oh five because he could not continue duties.

[00:16:46] Britnee: Mm-hmm. Filed for med board. Med board went on for two plus years. Right? Yeah. So the entire time it took the VA from 2005 mm-hmm. To 2012 to make a decision on his T B I. Mm-hmm. And when they did mm-hmm. It was 10%. Yeah. Right. So 10, 10%, for those of you listening is like I don't know, 280 bucks. Yeah.

[00:17:13] Britnee: Like, it, it's, it's awful. Yeah. And so at that point in time, , I was working a corporate job, mm-hmm. In banking. Mm-hmm. Did very well for myself. Yeah. Made six figures. Yeah. And I had to quit my job in 2010 to care for my husband because that was when I started noticing little things like, you know, he left the stove on, tried to burn the house down.

[00:17:36] Britnee: We had had a child at that point mm-hmm. And he was struggling trying to remember to feed our son, trying to remember. Mm-hmm. And I, and he would go days without eating if I was not home. And unfortunately my work required me to be on the road a lot. Mm-hmm. So I would be gone all week and I'd come home and he might have eaten only twice that week, so I had to quit my job.

[00:17:55] Britnee: We lived off of whatever was in my savings account mm-hmm. Until the VA made its first decision. And then when it made its first decision, we had to pull out my 401k and everything else mm-hmm. To try to stay, you know, afloat. Right. It wasn't until. Now again, my husband was blown up in oh five. So first claim was filed in oh five.

[00:18:17] Britnee: First rating was, was given in 2012. My husband did not receive a 100% rating mm-hmm. Until February of last year. So 2022. So 2005 to 2022 is how long it took. Now granted, he was rated he was paid at a hundred percent rate because he was considered unemployable. Mm-hmm. So at the va, they have a second rating called an unemployability rate.

[00:18:46] Britnee: Mm-hmm. And so he was paid at the a hundred percent rate, but he did not actually receive a hundred percent rating until February of last year. Now my husband has documented 66, it was 56, it's now 66. 66 injuries. Documented 66 injuries. His most recent one that was done a few years ago, he has something called cortical blindness.

[00:19:09] Britnee: Mm-hmm. Which is he is, he's going blind because of his brain injury. His eyes are fine. It's just the nerve that connects the optical nerve that connects the brain to the eyeballs is damaged. Yeah. So he will eventually go blind. So he is now visually impaired. Right. And he's not even rated for that at the va.

[00:19:32] Britnee: Like the VA won't even recognize it. So I'm just like, okay. You know, now what? Right. But I mean, I could tell you so many horror stories and we could be here for, for days. I know. I know. But that's sort of, that's sort of our experience. And, and my husband unfortunately does not, like I said earlier, does not receive multiple payments.

[00:19:50] Britnee: He had to pick VA or military med board payments cuz you can't receive both. 

[00:19:56] Alison: . My brain hurts for you and my heart hurts for you. Because it's just, it's not how we should be treating our veterans and especially those that have been injured so catastrophically. It is just, it's not okay in any way, shape, or form.

[00:20:12] Alison: So then let's pivot on that just a second. And go to the, how can we move from trauma to 

[00:20:21] Britnee: triumph? So let's talk about that. We've talked about though 

[00:20:25] Alison: the trauma is there, there's still a lot of it. What, how can we, so what, what have you, what kind of pivots have you been able to make to move forward?

[00:20:34] Alison: So I, I think for me with 

[00:20:36] Britnee: a lot of this is I am not the kind of person I was never raised to wear. And I know, I know that sounds bad, but my parents, you know, took no sympathy on us. Yeah. Raising us. 

[00:20:50] Britnee: I have a really hard time wallowing in my current scenario. Yes. So be because of my personality and because I'm Type A and I'm like, all right, we're gonna do this, right? Mm-hmm. My husband and I took an approach where, and it really took. It kind of took our children to, to be honest. Okay. My oldest, my oldest son who is now 12 Yeah.

[00:21:12] Britnee: Is autistic. Okay. And when he was diagnosed at age three mm-hmm. We were going through this whole thing of which I'm sure like most parents, you know, shock, overwhelming, , oh my god, my gosh, is there something wrong with my child? Like, yeah, my child's gonna be labeled. I don't want my kid to be labeled.

[00:21:31] Britnee: Like, all these things are going through your mind, whether or not you feel terrible about thinking, 'em, they're there. You know, they're there. Yep. And we were chatting about it and I was sitting there going, okay, how are we going to explain to our son if we are too, too shy or too embarrassed or too not, I won't say embarrassed, but self-conscious maybe.

[00:21:56] Britnee: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. There we go. About his, about his brain injury. Mm-hmm. How are we supposed to teach our son that he's supposed to be okay with being autistic? Mm-hmm. You know, and, and I think that is the, the, the hardest part about everything is we sat down and we took a hard look at it because after we got married, after we got all the proper diagnosis, I fought for all the medical care that my husband needed.

[00:22:25] Britnee: My husband was still in a very, very dark place. Mm-hmm. And he was struggling with the whole what kind of husband am I if I can't provide for my family? Sure. You know, he felt like his, his man card had been pulled, like everything was, was terrible. And he's like, and, and there is an age gap between us.

[00:22:43] Britnee: My, my, my husband is, 12 years older than me. Yeah. And he's like, I, I hope you don't think that you married this, you know, this old person and then this old person can't even work or provide for your family. I mean, it, it is like a whole ordeal. Yeah. And, , and I'm like, okay. And then our son comes along and we're trying, , to do all the therapies, to do all the stuff.

[00:23:02] Britnee: And it just dawned on me one day as we were talking about it, cuz Hamilton didn't wanna, he didn't wanna talk about it, or I'm not gonna say advocate, but he was just very down on himself about the brain injury, about all the stuff. And he just felt like nobody could, could understand him. The, the one quote in our house that we stick to a lot is the Dr.

[00:23:24] Britnee: Seuss. In one of the books it says, you must be odd to be number one. Okay. And and so I was like, that's what we're, so we're gonna, that's what we're gonna tell our kid. , you gotta be odd. , if you wanna be number one, you gotta be odd, and I mean, and let's get real in today's world, who's normal?

[00:23:42] Britnee: Like nobody's normal. A hundred percent, a hundred 

[00:23:43] Alison: percent. We're all 

[00:23:45] Britnee: weird, you know? Yes we are. It's what, whatever our quirks are, whatever, own it. Like, like let's just do this. Hundred percent. So when I brought that scenario to my husband and I was like, how are we going to tell our son that it's okay to be different?

[00:23:59] Britnee: Yeah. If you're not okay. Being different. Yeah. , because children are gonna pick up on that children and he's gonna be like, well, why do you want me to do all these things if, if daddy doesn't do this stuff? And so when we came to that conclusion, it was a complete 180 on my husband.

[00:24:16] Britnee: And he was like, okay, , I wanna go try these therapies. I wanna go do these things. I wanna go do all this stuff because he didn't want. When I took the pressure off of him and put it the focus on our child. Yeah. It was a complete shift in perspective, mm-hmm. And he's, and so now he's like, he gets to be the dad of the moment to show him that, Hey, I'm different.

[00:24:38] Britnee: So guess what? It's okay to be different too, yeah. And we'll just be different. We'll roll down that river ourselves, ? And so that's kind of, where it all took off at that point. And, and my husband, like we have flown all over the country. I ended up this, the si the situation with my husband was interesting when he got blown up.

[00:24:57] Britnee: He was in a coma for three days. He was unconscious and in a coma for three days. And unfortunately, the military never sent him to Germany. So he was treated in a makeshift tent outside of Byop, which is the abbreviation for Baghdad International Airport. And as soon as he woke up three days later, they put him right back out on the rope.

[00:25:17] Britnee: So he never received the treatment that he was supposed to receive for his brain injury, which also posed a lot of problems because I firmly believe that if he had gotten the treatment that was necessary, we wouldn't be as bad of a situation as we are right now. Yeah. So when we got back in the med board and all that stuff I applied for something called C R S C, which is combat Related Special Compensation. And through the C R C program we worked with the D O D. On how he was not treated correctly, , while he was in the military, while he was in the coma, and how he did not get, , the medical care that he should have gotten.

[00:26:00] Britnee: So it worked out really great because when we were fighting the va and the VA was refusing to recognize any of his injuries, the d o D kicked in through the C R S C program and they actually covered all of our expenses to go see these amazing doctors that were outside, outside the va. I mean, because let's, let's be honest, a lot of people don't have that option.

[00:26:25] Britnee: A lot of veterans are solely dependent on the va. Yeah. And when the VA makes up their mind that. That they don't believe you have this problem, or they believe that you're just trying to get more money. Cuz the, these are comments that I've had people at the VA make to my face. Right. You know, and say all these horrible, horrible things, you're not gonna get anywhere with them.

[00:26:48] Britnee: And to be honest with, with my husband's injuries, he is in a position to where our local VA system, whether they want to admit it or not, does not have the physicians that he needs to see to be able to treat his conditions. Sure. Because when I walked in there and told them he had cortical blindness and I had the reports from the doctors that the d o d sent us to out in San Diego, California the first response I got was, so what do you do?

[00:27:20] Britnee: Just fly around the country until you get the answers you want. That, that was the first answer. And then the second response was, Well, what are you trying to do? Just get more money because you're already a hundred percent. And I'm like, no, this is not about getting more money. This is about ensuring that he is service connected for everything that that has happened to him, so that if he were to perish due to these injuries, , our children would be taken care of.

[00:27:48] Britnee: Because if you die from something not service related guess what? Boo boo That stuff don't roll over. No. You know, and so you have to make sure that everything is on there. Yeah. And they just, and their response to treating my husband's cortical blindness was they gave him bifocals and sent us home.

[00:28:08] Britnee: It's absolutely horrible. And, and you have to literally be willing to go not the extra mile, but the extra 10 miles Yeah. To get the answers and the care that you need. But without the C R S C program, we would not have been able to see the doctors that we did see. Which also helps people, if you are listening and you are struggling with, with VA claims and stuff like that, and you are eligible for the C R S C program, that helps because when you get a diagnosis from a do from a do o d doctor, a do o d approved doctor mm-hmm.

[00:28:43] Britnee: Do OD outweighs va so, There's not much they can say. Okay. When you come back with some, with, with somebody that the Army or the d o d has paid for Yeah. For you to see. Right. You know, and it's, and it's kind of like, okay here, because the VA now has no influence over that position and they cannot make them change their reports.

[00:29:02] Britnee: They cannot, you know disagree with their, I'm sure that, I'm sure you can have a different opinion, but it makes it a lot harder for the VA to complicate things. Ok. When you have a VOD doctor, so 

[00:29:13] Alison: the C R S C program, that's a Department of Defense program? 

[00:29:17] Britnee: Yes. It is . So when you get out of the Army, it is another rating that you can apply for.

[00:29:24] Britnee: Okay. Through the military. Okay. So it's, and it's, it stands for Combat Related Special Compensation. Okay. So if you have ever been deployed and seen combat while on active duty, you will qualify for this program. Okay. And so what, through that 

[00:29:40] Alison: program, you guys were able to see specialists that he needed.

[00:29:43] Alison: Mm-hmm. So is that just so you're able to just see someone one time? They don't continue to provide, so the, the specialists that you were seeing in San Diego, they don't continue to pay for you to have follow-on care with them? 

[00:29:55] Britnee: Yes. Those, those are my annual doctors.

[00:29:57] Britnee: Oh yeah. Okay. So, so, so we have a doctor in San Diego that is his vision doctor. Okay. We have a doctor in Denver, Colorado that is his brain doctor. We have a doctor at Mount Sinai in New York that is studying him for something called C T e. I have physicians all over the United States. Geez. Oh my word. And, and we basically, it took us forever, but we found, we finally found a wonderful GP or general provider. Yeah. That's not through the va. And basically he works as I, I interviewed so many doctors, but 

[00:30:36] Alison: he's awesome.

[00:30:36] Britnee: I walked in and he was like, I haven't seen some of this stuff since I was in college, but we're, we're gonna roll with it. Like, we're, we're gonna, we're gonna see how this works. And I was like, as long as you're honest. Yeah. Like, you don't try to blow smoke in my direction, like Yeah, let's do this.

[00:30:51] Britnee: Yeah. So he actually works as a liaison. So when we go to see these doctors, they fax all their reports to him, and then he kind of manages the care for us. Okay. Okay. And then we go see them once a year for follow up and checkups. Gotcha. 

[00:31:04] Alison: Oh my gosh. Okay. So then I'm just trying to like, wrap my brain around all of it too.

[00:31:08] Alison: So then if you, if you've gone through this combat related special compensation and you have these specialists that you're seeing, why, why are you so, okay, so the reason you're going back to the VA is because you want these injuries listed so that if something happens and he is, is killed from one of these other injuries that they don't have on their form, then you guys don't get, is that, is that what the, going back to the VA is 

[00:31:33] Britnee: about?

[00:31:35] Alison: Because at this point I would be like, screw the va. I don't want anything to 

[00:31:38] Britnee: do with you. You know? So, so right now, I mean, we're, we're there right now 

[00:31:45] Britnee: we go to the va twice a year. So we check in every six months. Okay. And that's basically to say, Hey, we're here, we're breathing. In order to maintain your rating as well as your care, you have to check in with the va.

[00:32:01] Britnee: So we do not get all of our primary care. We use the general provider that I was just talking about that. Yeah. That has been amazing. Okay. But for those veterans who don't have TRICARE or outside insurance this C R S C program might be the only outlet they have in dealing Okay. With the va. And they just need to know that the d o d 

[00:32:21] Alison: doctors outweigh the VA doctors, you 

[00:32:24] Britnee: know?

[00:32:24] Britnee: Gotcha. So hopefully they work together, but sometimes they, they don't, I mean, I've been in a situation where before we moved to Georgia, we lived in South Carolina. And there was a VA up there where I took all of the findings that we had taken from, there's a, there's a really fancy VA center in Washington called the, the Risk Center.

[00:32:45] Britnee: It's W R I I S C. Stands for War Related Illness and Injury Service Center. Okay. And so I had my husband taken up there because it's managed by Duke University. Okay. So they're known for medical care, right? Yeah. We go up there, we get all the assessments, they diagnose my husband with a severe traumatic brain injury and all this list of stuff.

[00:33:06] Britnee: I took it back to the VA in South Carolina and I literally watched the director drop his file in the trashcan and he goes, well, everybody's entitled to their own opinion, so thanks. And I was like, well, the good thing about that is that those weren't my originals because I've been down this road before and I learned the first time.

[00:33:23] Britnee: So we're gonna go ahead and send a formal request to the senator and the congressman for us to have those records put into his file. And here we go with a congressional. I mean, but you never know what you're gonna get. And when I, and when I say these stories, I don't want everybody listening to think that all VAs are horrible.

[00:33:39] Britnee: I haven't. Found a great one, but but I'm sure there are good ones out there. It's just you, you've got to be proficient because you might have somebody at the va and I've got several friends that work at a c o here, which is a community based outpatient clinic. Mm-hmm. And they're wonderful people.

[00:33:58] Britnee: They, they do great jobs, but you may get a doctor or a person there that has a chip on their shoulder and just doesn't want to, to deal with you. And then Right. They, they could, they could ruin everything in just the, the flip of a switch. Right. So you've got to stay on your toes with the VAs. And nowadays I have heard from multiple soldiers that when they're getting out, when they're being med forwarded, Some of the bases are even telling them that they don't qualify for TRICARE or, you know, continued healthcare.

[00:34:26] Britnee: If you are med boarded out due to a disability, the military is supposed to provide you with insurance for life. Yeah. And a lot, a lot of people don't know that. I've got several soldiers that are in my nonprofit program that did not get that when they got out because nobody told them to apply 

[00:34:43] Alison: for it.

[00:34:44] Alison: Oh man. So then that's a great pivot. Where do we go from here? We know that the VA 

[00:34:50] Britnee: is a really broken system and there's

[00:34:52] Alison: a lot of problems. So what, so the, the combat related special compensation program is 

[00:34:58] Britnee: a great 

[00:34:59] Alison: resource for combat, obviously for for combat related issues that you might have.

[00:35:05] Alison: What other suggestions do you have for for people that are, that might be in the same boat that you are? They're fighting for their benefits. 

[00:35:14] Britnee: Well, I think there's, there's a lot of organizations out there. A lot of them are unit specific. So like there's a great organization out there that does help provide medical care or like Special Forces or Rangers.

[00:35:28] Britnee: Okay. Or those, but they, they are unit specific. Okay. But I would say reach out to some of these bigger organizations. I know Wounded Warrior Project helps a lot. With mental health appointments. Mm-hmm. So does Sempra Fi Fund and America's Fund, they're, they're the same organization. There's two different branches.

[00:35:48] Britnee: Yeah. But they also help provide mental health seems to be the, the biggest entity. Sure. And there's a ton of organizations out there that will help you. Another great one is one out of South Carolina, it's called Hidden Wounds. Mm-hmm. And it's run, a friend of ours, we met a friend of ours through that program, but I really like that because they, so they focus a lot on just that hidden wounds.

[00:36:12] Britnee: Mm-hmm. So ptsd s and TBI I wounds that you can't see. Yeah. They have counselors that, that you can reach out to. They have a lot of great programs as well. But there's, there's a lot of groups like that. And you would just have to basically get on Google Yeah. And start searching. Mm-hmm. And a lot of 'em might be close to your area.

[00:36:32] Britnee: Yeah. So there, there may be one around the corner. There may be one that, that is right down the road from you, or it may be a national one, like Wounded Warrior Project or Simplify Fund or et cetera. Yeah, and just be patient and, and if you call these organizations and they don't have a program, ask them, do you have a referral partner?

[00:36:51] Britnee: Mm-hmm. Like, there's, there's a lot of people that call me all the time that want seeing eye dogs. Mm-hmm. , I don't do this, but here's three companies that I usually refer to. Mm-hmm. And they're great, you know? Mm-hmm. And so I've always tried

[00:37:04] Britnee: referral partners because if I don't do something, I'm going to find someone who does what you're looking for, and I'm gonna refer that. Yeah. And, and that's, don't be afraid to ask. Like don't take no for an answer. Okay, great. You don't service that. Thanks for answering all my questions. Do you know somebody who does?

[00:37:19] Britnee: Yeah. Because I guarantee you most organizations, nonprofits are struggling in general with fundraising and everything, with how the market is with Covid and all this stuff. Yeah. And so we're having to rely on each other for a lot of support. So I guarantee you every nonprofit has two or three contacts that they can refer you to if they can't give you those services.

[00:37:39] Alison: Something that you need. Yeah. Okay. And then, so then pivoting just a little bit then. So tell us about the SD gunner and how that came about and what that 

[00:37:49] Britnee: looks like. So in 2013, the va or 20 20 12, the VA told me that my husband needed a service animal. Okay. And I was like, okay. So I go out, do all the research cuz I'm again that type A person yeah.

[00:38:05] Britnee: Found a dog, went and got the dog, went back and said, okay, I got a dog. It's gonna be a service dog now what? And the VA was like, oh, we said you needed one. We're not gonna pay for it. And I was like, huh no. That's not how it works. And so I went after the va. Mm-hmm. And after 18 months of driving back and forth to Washington, DC and working very closely with my senators and my congressmen the VA approved basically to pay for the service dog.

[00:38:38] Britnee: Yeah. During that process though, was when we had a friend who had a service animal. The dog, I don't remember, I think it was cancer or something, but the dog got sick and he could not afford the vet care. So the veterinarian. In a roundabout way, repossessed the dog, basically. He wouldn't turn the dog loose from the clinic because the guy couldn't pay his bill.

[00:39:02] Britnee: Right. So when that happened that friend of ours committed suicide two weeks later. So I was sitting there and I was like, okay, how do we, how do, how do we fix this? You know? And, and I'm like, see a need fill, a need ki kind of scenario. And back then in 2012, service dogs were not as prevalent mm-hmm.

[00:39:26] Britnee: As they are. Yeah. And I was like, well, there's still quite a few groups that do service dogs, so why don't we start an organization and we cover the financial portion of obtaining and maintaining service animals. Mm-hmm. So when we originally started the organization, I was paying things like, Vet bills or food or whatever the dog may need right.

[00:39:50] Britnee: At the time, because back then you got dog and that was it. Whereas nowadays when you get a dog from an organization, it's pretty much standard that they cover you and the dog for the life of the dog, okay. It's kind of, , a standard procedure, but back then it was not.

[00:40:05] Britnee: Okay. So we started that organization and we named it after my husband's service dog, which is Gunner. Okay. He's the, he's the logo, he's the big white great Pyne. . And we did that for a good two years. And after that I started getting phone calls from people and they were like, Hey, do you train dogs?

[00:40:26] Britnee: And I'm like, No, I do not have enough time in the day to train on. Are you kidding? And the, the phone calls just, just kept coming. Well, then I started doing research and you have some really amazing programs out there. Yeah. But unfortunately, larger programs like canine Companions for Independence, they are an amazing, amazing, wonderful group.

[00:40:48] Britnee: Their dogs are rock solid, but unfortunately, sometimes their wait list can get up to three years long, yeah. And so if you have someone that, that is in need for mental health reasons of a service animal, yeah. That's too long. And they're, they're battling skeletons in their closet three years, they're not gonna be here.

[00:41:07] Britnee: So we, we started, I was like, okay. I was like, I mean, you know, I. I can do this. Sure. Let's just add this to my resume. So I we started training dogs and I brought on trainers. I brought on p people that had graduated from the, the Paw and Prison program. So I hired inmates that had gotten out of prison that were used to working with dogs.

[00:41:29] Britnee: Okay. I hired, I started out with that. Then we, we brought on other trainers again back then, I don't know how it is where you live, but if you search up service dog trainer here. Yeah. Good luck finding one because everybody pretty much sticks to like basic intermediate and advanced behavior training.

[00:41:46] Britnee: Like there's not Right. Service dog training. Yeah. So there's few far between. So got a good roster of trainers. We were helping cover portions of their education to get them up to par so they would know how to train service dogs. Yeah. And it morphed into, Basically what it is today, we've, we've placed over 85 dogs with, and, and we service veterans, first responders and special needs children.

[00:42:13] Britnee: Okay. So we've done 85 dogs total. We average somewhere around, depending upon the funding, 15 to 25 dogs a year. Okay. And so it, it depends on, again, how much donations we, how many grants we get and, and so forth. Some years are better than others. Yeah. And then a couple of years ago, we added therapy dogs.

[00:42:34] Britnee: To our, our roster, but I don't train therapy dogs for like people who want to take 'em out on Sunday afternoon. Yeah. We do therapy dogs for facility and educational usage, which means that the facility must own the dog or the school system must use the dog full-time. Okay. So it, it's not, it's not a person that like volunteers with like T D I or some of the other like national organizations, which all those people serve a very wonderful purpose and et cetera.

[00:43:03] Britnee: But these are full-time working therapy dogs. Okay. So we have we have seven dogs seven therapy dogs, two work in a school system that's local to here. And services. Almost over 3000 kids that our other dogs work at pediatric facilities across Georgia and South Carolina. That, and these facilities do speech therapy, occupational therapy sensory therapy, all the stuff.

[00:43:32] Britnee: So the dogs work in the facility that they help the kids, they play with the kids on the programs. The dogs wear vest where the kids can stick stuff to them or glitter them and like the whole nine yards. And then we have one that works at a hospital. So so we've, we started that and I think last year alone, our therapy dogs I don't wanna use the word our therapy dogs touch, but our therapy dogs Connected with over 216,000 children through, through the facilities.

[00:44:02] Britnee: So that's pretty amazing as well. And then another side of SD Gunner Fund. I didn't plan it this way. I just, I, I, I call it a, a blessing or a calling or et cetera. But because we were an all female organization founded by a female we do tend to service more female veterans than male veterans.

[00:44:25] Britnee: Okay. And we also have a large, a large section of M S T recipients which stands for military sexual trauma. As well as the L G B T Q community. Yeah. And, and I don't know again if that's just because we, we were an all female organization or et cetera, but like we, we serve as such a wide variety of people.

[00:44:48] Britnee: It's, it's amazing. Yeah. And, and I don't know, I don't ever know like where they find us or how they come to us, but once they get to us, they, we pretty much just engulf them and in and welcome them into the family and, and help them every way that we can. And it's, it's pretty amazing. And it, it gave my husband and I a purpose because at the time, you know, my husband was in a pretty dark place and so when he got the service dog, you know, sure.

[00:45:16] Britnee: You can get, you can't get a pit bull or you can get a Rottweiler. Nope. We chose something fluffy with the sole purpose of I wanted people to approach him. Yeah. Because I wanted him to have to talk to people. Yeah. I, I know that that goes against the standards a lot of, yes. Yeah. I wanted, I wanted him to come out of that hole and talk to people Sure.

[00:45:38] Britnee: And to see the difference of him when he gets to talk about how Gunner has helped him and how Gunner has given him a purpose. And how Gunner has really, our lives revolve around our dog. I mean, I know that sounds crazy. I love my children. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But I remember my dog before I remember my children.

[00:45:56] Britnee: I know that sounds 

[00:45:56] Alison: bad. Mm-hmm. 

[00:45:57] Britnee: But you know, it's, it's just crazy. Cause he's, he's been with us, he's been with us through everything. Yeah. Gunner has, has been published in, in five countries. He's been on the Grand Ole Opry stage. He's been, I mean, he's been at the Jefferson Center in Washington. I mean, he's been on tv.

[00:46:16] Britnee: He, he's been everywhere. Yeah. And it's such a great. Thing for my husband because it makes him get involved in the community. It makes him be active. Yeah. And again, that doesn't always work for some people Sure. Who are struggling with mental health reasons. Yeah. But it worked for him. And so that's what kind of worked for us is to be able to say, Hey, I'm struggling with this, but this is what helped me get out.

[00:46:39] Britnee: Plus, with the people that we serve my husband has formed a great little circle of friends with some of our recipients and he has his own little outlet to, to go to. Yeah. And it gives me people to talk to as a caregiver because oftentimes you'd be surprised when you transition from military to catastrophically wounded military.

[00:47:03] Britnee: Yes. Your friends, your family everybody that you hoped would understand your situation, they disappear. I mean, I mean, and it's just because they don't understand why you're canceling last minute because your husband or spouse or partner can't deal with crowds or they've got a sudden migraine or all of a sudden with like my husband, his vision will go out.

[00:47:26] Britnee: And I'm like, well, we can't see anything, so we're not gonna do this right now. And you know, and it doesn't matter what it is, it it, but we have to cancel. And then when you add a special needs child, because again, our oldest is autistic. Yeah. I can be halfway out the door and we have a meltdown because we have a bump in our sock.

[00:47:43] Britnee: Sure. You know, and, and as silly as that sounds, that's normal. Yeah. Every everyday life for him, or we have a meltdown because our pants are not soft, you know? I, I love, I love my son because he, he calls he calls blue jeans, leg prisons. And, and we have to wear, I think that could be 

[00:48:06] Alison: accurate. 

[00:48:08] Britnee: I think we have to wear like really soft sweatpants or it, it's a texture thing, you know?

[00:48:14] Britnee: Yeah. And so a lot of times when you enter that world of special needs mamas or Sure. Catastrophically injured veterans. Yep. You know, all of a sudden the people you hung out with no longer Yeah. No longer around. Yeah. And it can be, it can be lonely. Sure. It can be devastating. Mm-hmm. It can make you feel like, like you have nothing going on.

[00:48:36] Britnee: And so, yeah, the organization works as a, as a savior for me too, because it gives me other people that I can talk to that I can, , vent to that understand. What I'm going through and I totally get what they're going through, you know? Yeah. Cause they're like, you just, , just pick up the phone and go, Hey, is it weird?

[00:48:54] Britnee: Does your person do this? And they're like, oh yeah. Oh yeah, totally. You know? I'm like, okay. So I'm glad I'm not the only one. Yeah. You know, and it also, it gives our kids people to bond with because our kids end up playing and they're like, oh, you know, your mom or dad has issues too. Yep. Mine too. You know, and it's kind of like, okay.

[00:49:11] Britnee: And my, my kids used to walk around all the time and tell people oh, my dad's brain's broken, you know? And I'm like, well, I mean, that's a way of putting it. Okay. You know, it was their way of explaining it. And they're like, oh, daddy's having a bad day. His brain's broken. I'm like, okay. So , it works out that way, , but you, you find a way, you find a way to cope.

[00:49:33] Britnee: You find a way to morph into what you need to be. And anytime you're dealing with mental health, if you don't get. The services that you need and the support network that you need, you can end up, end up in the wrong place. And, and yeah. Everybody, everybody needs that support everybody. Yeah. You can't do this by yourself.

[00:49:53] Britnee: I don't care who you are. Right. Yeah. You know? Yeah. 

[00:49:56] Alison: Okay. I, I know I, I wanna talk to you for like 45 more minutes because I, sorry, I wanna hear more about your stuff, but No, it's totally fine. But I know you've got stuff to do. So if if people want to get in touch with you, if they want more information about the SD gunner fund, if they're like, oh my God, I'm going through the same stuff, what can I, how help, what, how can people get in touch with you 

[00:50:18] Alison: so they can 

[00:50:19] Britnee: find us on social media?

[00:50:20] Britnee: Okay. They can find me under Britney Kinder. Mm-hmm. And also SD Gunner Fund or they can go to sd gunner.com. or.org, I totally drew a blank. And also brittany kinder.com. Okay. But we're all over social media. We have Instagram, we have Facebook, we have websites or just Google us. Okay.

[00:50:41] Britnee: And it w we should pop up. Okay. So, yeah. That's 

[00:50:44] awesome. 

[00:50:45] Alison: I'll make sure I'll find all those links and we make sure that they're in the show notes as well. Brittany, I I appreciate your time. I appreciate you sharing all of this. I think that it's some, again, something that we need to shed light on. The VA's a broken system and there's a lot of, a lot of issues in that.

[00:51:00] Alison: But and then I need you to come back. I need you to come back on because I want, I need to know. SD gunner fund. How, oh my God, you started this thing from nothing. Like what? Mm-hmm. Where do you get funding? How do you like, cuz I wanna know all the things because now I wanna do the same thing too. So I'll have to have you come back on so that we can dig into that a little bit and find out how, cause I always like to share what can I do, what can I do?

[00:51:23] Alison: Like I wanna do something, what can I do? Okay. All right. Thank you. I appreciate your time and we will talk to you again soon for sure. Sure thing. Sounds good. Thanks so much.